Round 1 - Compile vs Americon - Full Lightweight
"What'll it be?" asks the Bartender to his newest patron. Americon's optics narrow. "Give me... VIOLENCE! And lots of it!" He looks about. "Well, as soon as Compile gets here, that is!" The bartender gasps! Rumble has arrived. "Paul's Boutique" Cassette was already there somewhere. The tape seems to explode into a mean little Decepticon. Compile walks in as well and looks, "Nice place," he says to Americon as he gets ready for the fight, "So anythignt hat is not bolted down?" he asks as he looks at Americon. "What'll it be?" asks the Bartender to his newest patron. Americon's optics narrow. "Give me... VIOLENCE! And lots of it!" He looks about. "Well, as soon as Compile gets here, that is!" The bartender gasps! (repose) Powerglide just sits at the bar with a mug of milk. He can't drink it so he just looks cool. ROLL: Compile rolled a 72 ROLL: Americon rolled a 65 Slag has arrived. Americon nods, whirling around on his oversize bar stool. "Indeed! Anything and everything in this room is fair game, I am told!" The bartender slowly begins to crouch down behind his bar, meanwhile. Nightbeat has arrived. Compile nods as he looks around and thinks as he grins, "Alright," he says as he jumps over to powerglide and grabs his free arm, and pulls with all his tape strength to use Powerglide as a blunt object, and he hopes Americon likes his use of a weapon in this bar fight. Combat: Compile strikes Americon with his Blunt Object Powerglide (Smash) attack! Combat: You took 3 damage from that attack. Americon is smashed off of his stool! "NYARGH! You attacked me with an Autobot! How dare you!" Americon screams from under Powerglide's body. "Prepare to die... but first!" Americon transforms into eagle mode, and clings to the back of Powerglide's head. He spreads his wings out, and lifts Powerglide off of the ground via his thrusters! It's odd--it looks like Powerglide's head either grew wings, or he has really big ears! "BEHOLD! I am now Ameriglide!" WHAT Rumble cheers for both sides. "Go tapes!" Combat: Americon misses Compile with his Distract Attack attack! "Hey, barkeep! Get me another dri-Ack!" Powerglide is grabbed and used as a melee weapon in the worlds most intense bar fight. And then he's used as..well..I'm not quite sure what that is. "Oh my God I am TWEAKIN' OUT!" Mr. Big Top transmits, "Coitesy of th' 2030 Space Olympics hosted by Six Laysahs Incorporated an' me, Mistah Big Top, the first battle of d'gladitorial match begins! Plannit Gottlieb hosts dis Autobot called Broadside voises dis Decepticon called Snapdragon! Place y'bets!" Bandit has arrived. Rodimus Prime says, "100 shanix on Broadside!" Swindle says, "Hey! I have exclusive rights here, bub!" Vigil says, "400 Shanix on Broadside!" Mr. Big Top transmits, "M' business assoisheate Swindle heah will record y'bets. Swindle, take'r'away!" Swindle says, "Note to self: trace that guy and have thugs burn his house down. Hey wait, is this thing still on? Aw.." Compile looks up and jumps out of the way of the Powerglide bomb drop and he looks and grins, "Nice use of a Autobrat bro," he says to him as he thinks and a few spot sopen up on him as rockets appear and fire at Americon. Combat: Compile misses Americon with his Micro Rockets attack! Slag says, "This fight better! THey use him Powerglide as stick!" Deadeye says, "Who did Slag?" Slag says, "Tapey Compile hit tapey americon with him powerglide." Deadeye blinks and snickers, "I wonder how Powerglide got involved?" Bandit watches the bout carefully. He sits down with his arms crossed. A glimmer flashes across his optics. Slag says, "Him being stupid and by fight." Fortunately for Americon, he is well-protected by Powerglide's face. "Thank you, Compile, too bad! YOU! Will die." He leans his birdie beak around Powerglide's head, CAWs loudly, fires a few eyebeams at Compile, then ducks back into cover. Combat: Americon sets his defense level to Guarded. Rodimus Prime says, "I thought these things didn't allow outside help? Oh, Swindle, are you listening? I want to put 50 shanix on Americon." Combat: Americon misses Compile with his Laser attack! Slag is in the bar, having been told there was pie in here. He roars at Powerglide being used. "Use him powerglide gain!" Nightbeat says, "Bettin' on 'cons, boss?" Rodimus Prime says, "Well, it's a 'Con vs. 'Con fight!" Swindle says, "Fifty on Americon, gotcha! Subject to processing fees and preliminary testing fees, and tax, that'll be 75 credits please." Vigil says, "Maybe we need Markdown to handle autobot bets..." Rodimus Prime says, "A 50% increase? You've /got/ to be kidding me!" Swindle says, "Though if you prequalify for a Swindco "Credit" Card I'll waive all transaction fees.." Powerglide squirms around in Americon's claws, "Are you kiddin' me!? This...this is stupid!" Rodimus Prime says, "Actually, Vigil, that sounds like a good idea." Sadly, Markdown cannot help Rodimus Prime with an Americon-related bet due to the threat of the universe imploding. Combat: Compile sets his defense level to Aggressive. Mr. Big Top transmits, "Fuh' dose just tunin' in, Broadside has jammed his harpoon right inta th' beest, Snapdragon! Dis battle might be ovah befores ya knows it!" Rodimus Prime, foiled again. Swindle says, "Exclusivity, my good man. Look it up. In the meantime, let me transmit you this pamphlet for the card. No annual fees, and a low introductory APR! Totally legit!" Compile looks as he flips and heads for Americon and Powerglidein an attempt to grab his brother and the minibot. "Here, let me help you there brother," he says as he goes for a grasping attack. Combat: Compile strikes Americon with his Spike ya (Grab) attack! Americon's robot legs pop out metallic feather-like objects as they and his lower torso split apart, also revealing an eagle head. The arms and robot head join the main body, and his guns convert into tail feathers and rocket launchers. Americon is now a bald eagle! Robotic Bald Eagle is seized! "Gah! Well, thank you, Compile! And now, for your reward for helping me by grabbing me! It's something to LOOK OUT for! Mwaha!" Then he stabs his beak at one of Compile's optics while he's close in! Americon doesn't let go of Powerglide, either. Combat: Robotic Bald Eagle strikes Compile with his O' Say Can You See attack! -2 Combat: You took 2 damage. Combat: That attack has temporarily affected Compile's Accuracy. (Blinded) Compile is poked int he eye, "Owww....my eye," he says as he falls back and lands on a table, "Oh yea," he says as he pulls out a blaster and fires on Americon. Combat: Compile misses Robotic Bald Eagle with his Disruptor attack! Robotic Bald Eagle swings Powerglide around again, letting him take the laser blast! "Ha ha! So you SEE what a predicament you're in, eh, Compile?" Americon cries, then lifts Powerglide over his fellow tape, and tries to drop the Autobot on him! Combat: Americon sets his defense level to Aggressive. Combat: Robotic Bald Eagle misses Compile with his powerglide (Smash) attack! Combat: Set custom attack name for kick to 'Powerglide Kick Attack'. Powerglide smashes face first into the ground which is probably worse than landing on Compile. Either way, it sucks. Combat: Compile sets his defense level to Fearless. Compile looks and blinks as he thinks and jumps, in an attempt to knock Americon out of the sky, "Knock knock." Combat: Compile strikes Robotic Bald Eagle with his Punch attack! Slag roars again, stomping and making the place rattle and shake. "AGAIN! HIT WITH POWERGLIDE AGAIN!!!" Slag bellows, sounding truly happy for a brief second! Swindle says, "Taking late bets on Snapdragon versus Broadside! Odds are 7 to 3 on Broadside, with Snapdragon at 6 to 1." Vigil says, "Yeah, Broadside is really beating the slag out of that Decepticon!" Excise says, "Broadside? Hmph. Autobot triplechangers are weak. Everyone knows that. Who's he fighting?" Swindle says, "Don't worry, he's taking a dive in the third round. Shh, don't tell anyone." Excise says, "Er, this is an open channel, Swindle." Robotic Bald Eagle grunts, "DURF" as he is spiked out of the air! He slams into the ground by Powerglide's hand, transforms, and grins as he gets an idea! "Hey, Compile! Let me give you a HAND! POWERGLIDE'S hand!" And he lifts up Powerglide's arm, and kind of flails it at Compile, hoping to smack him with the Autobot's hand! Americon undergoes a patriotic transformation into his All-American robot mode! Combat: Americon misses Compile with his Powerglide Did It (Punch) attack! Mr. Big Top transmits, "Lemmeytellya. Dis Broadside kid's got moxie. A lotta moxie. Dis Snapdragon's gotta slow down an' be more careful in pickin' his moment ta retaliate. But, mebbe d'odds are turnin' in his fayvor. Dat big metal co'canut ain't peggin' Snapdragon none! An' dis is a fine time ta remind youse viewers at home ta visit th' Planet Gottlieb! Chief Exportah of Kluds n' Giant Metal Co'canuts!" "What did I ever do to deserve this!?" Powerglide wails as he's continued to be used as a makeshift weapon. Compile flips over the incoming minibot and rabs hold of him and lands, "You were created," he states as he runs forwards and hurls Powerglide. Than he jumps on Powerglides back and uses him as a surfboard, heading right for Americon. Combat: Compile strikes Americon with his Ram attack! Combat: You took 3 damage from that attack. Slag roars happily as he stomps more in anticipation. "Now use Him Powerglide like big stick and SMASH!" He bellows to the fighters as he stomps hard to demonstrate smash, incase tapes didnt know. Americon yells, "URRGHHH!" as Compile slides into him on his Powerboard. He is flung against a table, knocking it over and spilling Spider Milk everywhere! "No, there will be no smashing today!" Americon says. "There will be BLASTING, and Compile will be the one blasted... to HELL!" And so, Americon reveals his AMERICANNON and hoists it across his shoulder. "Prepare to die, Compile, or whoever I shoot at!" Americon says, standing unsteadily as he tries to focus the oversized gun on Compile. Combat: Americon strikes Compile with his Americannon attack! Combat: You took 12 damage. Bandit says, "This is very exciting....good job you two" Compile is hit by the Americannon and he is sent back and into the bar, Oh that's it," he says simply as he stands and looks at his red, white and blue brother. The black and white tape grunts as his arms begin to transform into pile-drives and he looks, "Lets rock," he say as music is heard coming from him, and that music is 'Bawitdaba' "Bawitdaba da bang a dang diggy diggy diggy said the boogy said up jump the boogy..." And than Compile rushes forward and jumps for Americon and hopes to land on him and use his High Frequency Pile-Drivers on him. Combat: Compile strikes Americon with his High Frequency Pile-Drivers attack! Combat: That attack has temporarily impaired Americon's Agility. (Crippled) Americon is slammed into the upturned table by the recoil of his own weapon, and bounces off, landing on his face. This leaves him easy prey for Compile, who leaps onto him and piledrives him into the floor! "Urf urf urf OWWW!" Americon yells, then desperately springs up, attempting to vault the other tape off of himself and maybe even onto one of Slag's horns! Combat: Americon misses Compile with his Slag (Punch) attack! Compile is able to push off of his brother as he bucks and he thinks and tries to grab him and fling him into a wall, "Here, have a seat," he says to him. Combat: Compile strikes Americon with his Have a Seat (Grab) attack! Americon is thrown at the wall, but instead lands on a stool. Americon looks about. "Um. Ok! This is kind of relaxing, actually!" He kicks his feet up on the table. "Ahhh." Combat: Americon sets his defense level to Fearless. Combat: Americon takes extra time to steady himself. Pass Compile looks and grins as he rushes forward and jumps, sending his foot at Americon's jaw, "Here, have a nice rest." Combat: Compile strikes Americon with his Tape Jumpkick (Kick) attack! Americon is booted off of the stool! "OWWWW!" He lands on the floor with a SLAM! "Jerk! I was relaxing! Now, you will face the wrath of my lasers!" He unholsters his blasters and shoots at Compile! Combat: Americon strikes Compile with his Red White and Blue Lasers attack! -1 Combat: You took 6 damage. Combat: Americon's attack has damaged your Agility! Compile is hit by the lasers, "And eye, for an eye," he says as he points to his damaged optic as another laser heads for Americon, like Darkseids Omega blast. Combat: Compile strikes Americon with his Laser attack! Americon flails his arms around as he is shot in the eye! "AHH! My eye! That is not fair, attacking eyes! You scoundrel!" He transforms into eagle mode, and flies around the room, launching missiles at Compile! "But fortunately this mode has TWO MORE!" Americon's robot legs pop out metallic feather-like objects as they and his lower torso split apart, also revealing an eagle head. The arms and robot head join the main body, and his guns convert into tail feathers and rocket launchers. Americon is now a bald eagle! Combat: Robotic Bald Eagle strikes Compile with his Rockets' Red Glare attack! Combat: You took 6 damage. Combat: Robotic Bald Eagle 's attack has damaged your Accuracy! Compile looks as he is hit again, "I'll get you and your little pet too," he says with the pet being Powerglide as he runs forward and jumps and tries to slam Americon into the ground. Combat: Compile strikes Robotic Bald Eagle with his Blunt Object Powerglide (Smash) attack! Combat: You took 3 damage from that attack. Combat: You have foolishly damaged your own Velocity! Mr. Big Top transmits, "As we head inta th' final stages of dis Showdown on Gottlieb, Snapdragon begins ta gather some momentum. He's batterin' back at Broadside an' nailin' some big hits, while Broadside's half-blinded an' graspin' at thin air." Robotic Bald Eagle CAWS and is smashed into the ground, bending the launchers on his back a little! "No, this is what you will get!" Americon says, transforming, and grabbing Powerglide's hand. Then, he shines a flashlight on Powerglide's hand as he contorts into various shapes! Hey, is Powerglide's shadow in the form of a goat right now? "Baaaaa-aaa-aaa-aaad Compile!" Americon says. Americon undergoes a patriotic transformation into his All-American robot mode! Combat: Americon's Shadow Puppets attack on Compile goes wild! Combat: Americon strikes Rumble with his Shadow Puppets attack! Combat: That attack has temporarily impaired Rumble's Agility. (Crippled) "Whoah, hey!" exclaims Rumble, as the DOOM of HELL ITSELF is cast on him. "That's kinda freaky!" Compile looks and blinks, "That looked sweet, what was it like Rumble," he says as he runs over and sucker punches Americon. Combat: Compile strikes Americon with his Tape Uppercut (Punch) attack! Americon grunts, "GURF" as he takes one one the cheek! However, taking Powerglide's hand, he tries to use it to poke Compile in the face! Combat: Americon misses Compile with his Power Poke (Punch) attack! Compile raises his hand and splits the fingers of Powerglides hand, "Oldest trick in the book," he says as he moves his hand up and down, than left and right in front of Americon's face as he sends a kick to him. Combat: Compile misses Americon with his Tape Jumpkick (Kick) attack! Americon ducks under the kick, though, and, attempting to grab Compile by the leg, he tries to throw him onto Powerglide's body. "This is is A NEW TRICK! See how you like it!" Combat: Americon strikes Compile with his Slam (Smash) attack! Combat: You took 5 damage. Combat: You are very aware that your life is in danger! Combat: Americon's attack has damaged your Velocity! Compile i grabbed and he blinks, "Don't touch me there like that," he says as he is tossed into Powerglide and he looks, "Excuse me," he says as he jumps and rushes for Americon and as he does, missiles are released form his body. Combat: Error - You don't have enough energon (14) for this attack. Compile than he blinks a she looks, "All you have go to be kidding me," he says as he doesnot have the energon and ponders as he grabs something laying around and uses it on Americon instead. Combat: Compile strikes Americon with his Have a Seat (Grab) attack! Americon has a chair placed on him! "Ahhh!" But then he pokes a blaster out from under the chair that is on him and he fires at Compile! "I am not kidding you, I am KILLING YOU!" Zap zap! Combat: Americon strikes Compile with his Red White and Blue Lasers attack! Combat: You took 6 damage. Combat: Americon's attack has damaged your Strength! Bandit says, "Cant be much longer....press your attacks you two!" Compile looks as he is zapped and he falls back as he checks his systems and ponders as his arms go into pile drivers againa nd he unloads onto Americon. Combat: Compile strikes Americon with his High Frequency Pile-Drivers attack! Combat: That attack has temporarily impaired Americon's Agility. (Crippled) Combat: You are running low on energon! Americon takes a few pile drivers to the face, and staggers back! His head rolls around on his shoulders like it's not completely attached anymore! "Ack, I'm TRYING to!" he complains to Bandit. "Here, there is one attack I have not used on you yet, Compile! Caw!" He transforms, and fires a seismic torpedo at Compile. "Eye for an eye, as you say!" Shake shake shake! Americon's robot legs pop out metallic feather-like objects as they and his lower torso split apart, also revealing an eagle head. The arms and robot head join the main body, and his guns convert into tail feathers and rocket launchers. Americon is now a bald eagle! Combat: Robotic Bald Eagle strikes Compile with his Seismic Anti-Giant Torpedo attack! -1 Combat: You took 4 damage. Combat: Robotic Bald Eagle 's attack has damaged your Agility! Compile looks and blinks a Torpedo," he states as he runs away form it as fast as he can, but he is not that fast and gets a Torpedo int he backside. Which knocks him into and through the bar. He sits there as he thinks and looks, a white flag popping up as he gives up and plus he is not able ot fight any more, having reach cou/end a while back. Americon undergoes a patriotic transformation into his All-American robot mode! Americon walks towards Compile, and extends a hand to his fellow tape. "You fought like a true American, Compile! I salute you! And don't you worry, I'll win the light-weight division, no problem!" Compile stands up and looks, "I think I drank to much," he says as he nods and holds his head, "I feel like crap," he adds as he thinks, "That was fun," he adds. Dr. Excise says, "Aerospace Commander sir, I want it noted how much Snapdragon's performance has improved since I arrived and gave him leaderly advice." Air Commander Ramjet says, "Has it now?" Americon grins, patting Compile on the shoulder. "It was! And the best part was, we really beat the hell out of that Autobot in the process! Ha ha!" Dr. Excise says, "Sir yes sir. Snapdragon was sucking pretty hard, but now he's turning it around. I don't know if it'll be enough, but clearly had I been here at the beginning Snapdragon would have already won." Warlord Scorponok says, "/SNAPDRAGON/" Warlord Scorponok says, "Cease Sucking!" Dr. Excise says, "Don't worry Commander Scorponok sir, I already told him about twenty minutes ago." Air Commander Ramjet says, "Hnh." Warlord Scorponok says, "Then you are being redundant! Stop sucking, Excise!" Dr. Excise says, "Wh-... I... er, yes sir! Sucking stops right... /now/!" Air Commander Ramjet says, "Very good! But you have failed at a key area, Excise." Dr. Excise says, "Sir?" Air Commander Ramjet says, ".. MY TITLE IS AIR COMMANDER, NOT AEROSPACE COMMANDER, YOU %$&%#@$*%#%y, SLAG-SUCKING $*#%&#%)^*@!$*% TRANSISTOR-KISSING %*(%_#*%@*!#$)$@!!!!!" Dr. Excise says, "...sir I swear you change it like every day." Air Commander Ramjet says, "Gnnngh." Fulcrum says, "Does this mean we have a Space Commander?" Dr. Excise says, "Yeah, who leads our space forces? I'm a space jet." Dr. Excise says, "Why am I wasting my time kissing Ramjet's transistors if he isn't even my Commander?" Dredclaw says, "You may place applications for groveling in my inbox, Excise." Dr. Excise says, "And as we know, if someone of a higher rank isn't in the same division as you, all of their orders are completely null and void." Dr. Excise says, "What? Really? The Sweeps lead the space force?" Fulcrum says, "Ramjet, my rank is still technically Aerospace. If there is no Aerospace commander, does that mean I have my own division?" Dr. Excise says, "I request permission to join your division, Fulcrum." Fulcrum says, "Wait, so is yours. Hrm. I am confused" Fulcrum says, "Do we or do we not have an Aerospace division? Pah, all this bureaucracy." Dirge says, "Be silent, and obey." Air Commander Ramjet says, "The both of you are about to suffer from severely broken hip-joints." Warlord Scorponok says, "Only hip-joints?" Warlord Scorponok says, "Why, Air Commander. You are going soft." Dr. Excise says, "Dirge and Fulcrum are in trouble?" Air Commander Ramjet says, "I think that soft center of your head keeps you from comprehending the implications of that statement." Warlord Scorponok says, "Possibly. Along with your soft sense of disciplining your troops." Air Commander Ramjet says, "Shut up." Dr. Excise audibly gasps as Ramjet tells Scorponok to shut up. Warlord Scorponok says, "You are hardly worthy of making that demand." Warlord Scorponok says, "Go back to managing your little division, nameless mass-production model." Fulcrum says, "Well he is Aerospace...Air Commander" Warlord Scorponok says, "Excise?" Warlord Scorponok says, "Shut up." Dr. Excise says, "Yes Command- aw." Air Commander Ramjet says, "Dirge." Compile nods, "Yea, that was fun," he states with a grin. "We need to do that more often. Say, lets take a part of him as a reminder, yous gots his hand, I'll take his foot," he states as he heads over to remove the foot of Powerglide. Dirge hisses, "Ramjet." Air Commander Ramjet says, "Get my railguns out of storage." Americon cheers! "Okay!" And he sets himself to taking off PG's hand. Poor guy. Air Commander Ramjet says, "We're going to lose a battlestation. And the little man who runs it." Warlord Scorponok says, "More the pity. While every Autobot of size that you cannot stand up to runs blatantly over our army." Air Commander Ramjet says, "Whatever it takes to provide me the peace and quiet that silencing your flapping head will bring me." Dreadwind says, "There is enough time for silence in the grave, till then there is only suffering." Compile says, "I feel like crap and AMericon beat me in a barroom brawl. Powerglide is dented cause wes used him as a weapon." Dirge says, "What little you know of death is matched only by what less you know of silence.." Warlord Scorponok says, "Did Powerglide suffer serious damage?" Bandit says, "Well you performed well in any case" Compile says, "Is think. Me and Americon did a good number on him. I rode him like a surfboard and Americon used him as a shield while as an eagle." Warlord Scorponok says, "Well done, then." Mr. Big Top transmits, "Snapdragon's clingin' on by mere micrometers, wearin' out th' contendah Broadside! But how much strength is left in dat rapidly dwindlin' chassis?" Compile says, "Americon beat me in a bar room brawl." Dirge rasps softly, "What is it the leader fears most from the led? The bold mutiny, the swift dagger in the night? Or is it the quiet jeer of faceless fodder, devoid of consequence? Shall we rise up against our allies and tear down for scrap the machinery that sends us to the common destruction of our true enemies? Look to your hand and see what drives it -- the perfection of the Empire, or the base appeasement of the meaningless.." Dreadwind says, "Everything is meaningless." Fulcrum says, "Attention; I shall soon be breaking the Autobot "Crash" into tiny pieces" Air Commander Ramjet says, "Well that's worthwhile news." Mr. Big Top transmits, "One shalls stand and one shalls fall! Da Contendah Broadside moves on ta round two of th' gladitorial tournament while Snapdragon becomes a possib'l pick for th' loser's bracket! Space history will remembah dis day as th' day of snickah-snack!" Category:2030 Olympics